61. space luge is also cancelled.

(i love the olympics)

(even those not in space)

60. where i've been.

another laura marling performance. i know, you're shocked.

59. race.

finished some zine things tonight with the help of a friend.


issue #3 is ready to be photocopied.
as my pal keith would say: "giddy up"

58. night.

i just want to feel everything.

57. tis the season.

(photo via dczinefest.com)

this saturday, 11-5 pm.
i've pretty much been waiting for this since i moved here.
here's hoping i can get everything done in time.

56. inside/out.

writing on anchors, from inside the submarine.
rainy nights are my favorite.

55. the bathtub.

"The whole universe depends on everything fitting together just right. If one piece busts, even the smallest piece, the entire universe will get busted…When it all goes quiet behind my eyes, I see everything that made me flying around in invisible pieces. I see that I’m a little piece in a big, big universe. In a million years, when kids go to school, they’re gonna know: once there was a Hushpuppy, and she lived with her daddy in the Bathtub."

-beasts of the southern wild

movie night.
epic.

54. loner, rebel.

(jungle porch/submarine when it rains)

53. on my feet.

back porch/candles/new couch cushions.
cider/ceiling fans/busying both hands.
i could sleep outside until october.

52. the head and the heart.

summer is not what i had hoped.

51. chemistry.

[T]here are two main stages associated with a dead and dying romantic relationship...During the ‘protest’ stage that occurs in the immediate aftermath of rejection, ‘abandoned lovers are generally dedicated to winning their sweetheart back. They obsessively dissect the relationship, trying to establish what went wrong; and they doggedly strategize about how to rekindle the romance. Disappointed lovers often make dramatic, humiliating, or even dangerous entrances into a beloved’s home or place of work, then storm out, only to return and plead anew. They visit mutual haunts and shared friends. They phone, e-mail, and write letters, pleading, accusing, and/or trying to seduce their abandoner.’

At the neurobiological level, the protest stage is characterized by unusually heightened, even frantic activity of dopamine and norepinephrine receptors in the brain, which has the effect of pronounced alertness similar to what is found in young animals abandoned by their mothers. 

This impassioned protest stage — if it proves unsuccessful in reestablishing the romantic relationship — slowly disintegrates into the second stage of heartbreak, what Fisher refers to as ‘resignation/despair,’ in which the rejected party gives up all hope of ever getting back together. ‘Drugged by sorrow,’ writes Fisher, ‘most cry, lie in bed, stare into space, drink too much, or hole up and watch TV.’ At the level of the brain, overtaxed dopamine-making cells begin sputtering out, causing lethargy and depression. And in the saddest cases, this depression is linked to heart attacks or strokes, so people can, quite literally, die of a broken heart. So we may not be ‘naturally monogamous’ as a species, but neither are we naturally polygamous.

[ ... ]

[O]ne of the more fascinating things about the resignation/despair stage is the possibility that it actually serves an adaptive function that may help to salvage the doomed relationship, especially for an empathetic species such as our own…. [H]eartbreak is not easily experienced at either end, and when your actions have produced such a sad and lamentable reaction in another person, when you watch someone you care about (but no longer feel any real long-term or sexual desire to be with) suffer in such ways, it can be difficult to fully extricate yourself from a withered romance. If I had to guess — in the absence of any studies that I’m aware of to support this claim — I’d say that a considerable amount of genes have replicated in our species solely because, with our damnable social cognitive abilities, we just don’t have the heart to break other people’s hearts.

(source)

50. nope.

saturday.
no.

49. trash city.

an uneventful capital fourth.
dc is too hot and filled with everything i don't want to think about today.
but i'm fortunate enough to have electricity.